The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
