I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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