WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I want a musical about memes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
