So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
