I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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