$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize