i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
