So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
