You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
