My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
