As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
