I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
