butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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