At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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