Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need to calm my uterus...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
