wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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