Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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