allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
