I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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