This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize