My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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