"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
