This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
