woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize