He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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