She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
