i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize