what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
