No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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