I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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