Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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