I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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