I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
