im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
