he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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