I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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