who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
why is half of my head shaved?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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