You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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