I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your penis caused this!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
