i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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