This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
