it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
