When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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