I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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