I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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