I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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