Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
