I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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