i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
