just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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