Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
