Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
