from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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