I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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